once i had a breakdown and cried into my pillow and this happened and i feel like this is an accurate representation of my current mental state
if i die my funerals gonna be the biggest fucken party and you’re all invited
great, the only party ive ever been invited to and he might not even die
My last wife was 47 years older than me.”
“Yep. We met when she was 80 and I was 33. She came to the nursing home where I worked, and everyday she would spend six hours with her dying husband. I said to myself: ‘If she ever loves me like that, I’ll be OK.’ We married a couple years later, and stayed together until she died at the age of 96. If I had any money, I’d make a movie about it.”
I AM SO FUCKING DONE WITH THIS WEBSITE LIKE I CANNOT.
I’VE BEEN LAUGHING FOR LIKE 5 MINUTES STRAIGHT.
the sexual tension when u and ur crush are online on fb at the same time and u just stare at their lil green dot
and suddenly you know what gatsby felt like
This is actually the most profound and appropriate literary allusion I’ve encountered so far this week.
no matter how successful i become in life i can never escape the fact that i didn’t get my driver’s license until i was nineteen
Neither did I or, like, four of my friends.
we real cool
my one dream is to travel back in time to the middle ages and bring some large speakers and loudly play a skrillex song and watch everyone freak the fuck out